Regulating emotions and the concept that emotions can be more or less severe can be really difficult things to teach to children. It’s a hard concept! One way I’ve been able to help kiddos grasp this concept is with the idea of an Emotion Thermometer.

Think of an Emotion Thermometer as a tool that measures how severe an emotion is. This tool doesn’t actually exist, but you can describe it as a thermometer that measures emotions from small to medium to big. You can also use a scale from 0 to 10. Which one is “better?” The answer is… the one that your kiddo seems to understand more. If it’s easier for them to rate their emotions on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (the WORST), then great! If it’s easier for them to rate their emotions as “small,” “medium,” and “big,” then also great!

You can talk with your child about how, as their emotions fluctuate, the emotion thermometer will go up and down. Talk about how things that make us feel a negative emotion, like anger, will cause the emotion thermometer to rise, while things that help us feel calm, like taking deep breaths or getting a hug, will cause the emotion thermometer to go down. You can also discuss how, typically, the emotion thermometer will go down over time.

The emotion I have found this to be most helpful for is anger (though I’ve used it for sadness and anxiety also), so I have created a visual to help with this concept. See below the Anger Thermometer (you can print a copy here if you like).

As you can see in the image above, I like to also use the thermometer to talk about calming down. On the left side you can see spaces to write in how their body feels when they are experiencing different severity of emotions. Talking about body signals can help with filling these out!

On the right side, you can then fill in spaces with coping skills that will help lower the intensity of the anger – if you need ideas for coping skills, see my blog post with 75 Coping Skills for Kids.

Another point of discussion is how sometimes our “baseline” severity of emotion may be higher, based on many factors, including weather, how we slept, whether we’re dehydrated, whether we have a headache or are sick. So some days we may walk around at a really low level of emotion (none or zero). On these days, small irritations are only going to bump us up to “small” or 2-3 out of 10. But on other days, we may walk around at a higher level of emotions. Maybe we didn’t sleep well, so our baseline for the day is “small” or 3-4 out of 10. On those days, small irritations are going to bump us up to “medium” or 5-6 out of 10. On these days, it’s very important to use lots of coping skills, to prevent those emotions from getting so severe that we have difficulty controlling our behavior.

That about sums up Emotion Thermometers. Again, you can use these for any emotions, but I find them most helpful for anger.

Disclaimer: I am a licensed mental health therapist, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.