Krista H Counseling

As a follow-up to How to Find a Therapist, here you can read some suggestions on how exactly to go about reaching out to a therapist. There isn’t a specific protocol, and it’s okay if you don’t do it exactly like this. Some people may scoff at the idea of having to read suggestions on reaching out to a therapist, and that’s okay. If that’s you, stop reading. This post is for those who WANT some suggestions. Especially for my anxious (specifically socially anxious) people. If you find yourself feeling anxious about reaching out to a therapist, that’s okay. But don’t let it stop you. Here are some suggestions.

First of all, there may be several options for reaching out – calling, emailing, submitting a form on the therapist website. Most therapists will have a phone and email listed on their (or their agency’s) website. PsychologyToday website (a referral site for therapists) has a button you can click to send a provider a message through their website. Which is best? The one you’re most comfortable with. Therapists likely have a preference of mode of communication (I prefer email to phone), but will respond to either. So feel free to choose whatever mode is most comfortable for you. If you choose to call, keep in mind that it is very likely you will have to leave a voicemail. Therapists do not answer phone calls during therapy sessions, so unless you happen to catch a therapist between sessions, you’ll have to leave a message and wait for a call back.

So now you’ve picked your mode of contact… what next? Now it’s time to reach out! There are a few things to make sure you include whatever mode of communication you pick.

• Your name
• That you’re reaching out for therapy
• A way to get back to you

Other than that, you can leave other details, but it’s not necessary. Your therapist should ask follow up questions to gather additional information. This information will likely include:

• Insurance information (what insurance company is your plan under) – they’ll want to verify they are in network, though this is ultimately the client/patient’s responsibility
• Brief reason for therapy – this is to make sure they are a good fit for you and what you need
• Availability – this is to make sure your schedule and the therapists schedule are compatible
• Whether you prefer to complete therapy services in-person or online

Here are a few examples of typical messages I receive:

“Hi, my name is Krista and I’m calling because I’m looking for a therapist for my daughter, Zelda. She is having some anxiety about school and wants to talk to someone about it. My number is 000-000-0000.”

or

“My name is Krista and I’ve been having a tough time with finding balance as a mother, wife, and therapist. I think I need to talk to someone about boundaries and coping skills. I can only meet during the evening, and was also wondering about a cash rate. I’d appreciate if you can email me back to set something up.”

or

“Good morning, my name is Krista and I need to start therapy services. Please email me back if you have availability.”

All three of those examples are a little different, but they give a therapist your name, the fact you’re looking for therapy services, and a way to get back to you. Those are the three main things, and as long as you include those, the therapist will work with you to get everything set up.

If you’re feeling anxious, that’s okay. It’s so great that you’re taking the step to get help. And guess what? Therapists are trained to be nonjudgmental and to have unconditional positive regard. That means that even if you stumble over your words in your message or make typing errors in your email, therapists aren’t going to make fun of you or laugh at you. We just want to help.

Good luck!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed independent mental health practitioner and certified professional counselor, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.

Welcome to the What I’ve Been Reading series. Note about me: I love to read. Both fiction and non-fiction. Since no one on the planet (probably) has enough time to read all the self-help books out there, I decided to share about what I’m reading to help others decide if it’s something they may be interested in. Enjoy a brief review of the book (my opinion only) and some vague take-aways.

Today I finished reading The Highly Sensitive Parent, by Elaine N. Aron. If you aren’t family with what “Highly Sensitive” refers to, you can click here to go to Aron’s website and find out more (and take a quiz to see if you are a “highly sensitive person”).

I identify as a “highly sensitive person” (HSP), and parenting is a struggle sometimes because of all the external stimuli. I was so excited to read this book and thought, “I’m probably going to wish I had read this 5 years ago!” I really wanted to love this book and find it incredibly helpful. And I did find it a little helpful, but it was a bit disappointing.

First, the good things about this book: it was so validating. It was also so great to hear that there are other parents out there who struggle with HSP problems. I also found the author to write in a way that was compassionate towards readers and send the message that it’s okay to be highly sensitive and that you can be a great parent. There is a helpful chapter titled “Coping with Overstimulation,” which included a list of coping skills to help sensitive parents deal with the circus that parenting can be.

If you feel like your HSP traits are affecting your relationship with your partner/coparent, the author has two whole chapters dedicated to discussing ways in which to get you and your partner’s needs me, communicate, and build a healthy relationship. She even recommended a John Gottman strategy (huge fan here!).

Now the “not so good” things about this book: I really was expecting more coping skills from this book. There was one chapter, and it included some good ideas, but nothing super enlightening, and nothing that I haven’t heard of before, or recommended to clients during therapy sessions. The book offered a lot of good information about a lot of topics, but I really wish the author had spent more time focusing on how to cope with being a highly sensitive parent/person.

One other thing that frustrated me about this book was the chapter called “Getting Help.” The author suggests recruiting friends and family to help with parenting (which, to me, seems like a no-brainer). Then she takes it a step further and suggests hiring help – a main, a nanny, or anyone else to do things so that parents can get rest. In theory, I don’t see anything wrong with this suggestion. If you can afford to hire help, then absolutely get it. But what about those who can’t? Aron’s suggestion for those were to basically figure out a way to afford it. Figure out a way to prioritize hiring help. This really rubbed me the wrong way. Sure, I could probably cancel some subscription and cut back on things and afford to hire a maid. But I know a lot of people, and many of my clients, who just could not make it work. To pretend like anyone can afford help if they only prioritize it might be like a slap in the face to many who simply… can’t.

Overall, I found this book to be slightly helpful, but I’ll be honest… I skimmed over many pages that just weren’t relevant to me. Again, I was hoping for more tips on coping as a Highly Sensitive Parent. And even though I wasn’t a huge fan of this book, I am a big fan of Aron’s work in general.

Lastly, I want to remind readers about access to books at their local libraries. I put this book on hold via my library’s website, and picked it two days later. Many libraries also have a website or mobile app where library patrons are able to borrow ebooks or audiobooks. I was unable to find an audiobook version of this book, but it’s possible my library just doesn’t own rights to one.

Happy reading!

Welcome to the What I’ve Been Reading series. Note about me: I love to read. Both fiction and non-fiction. Since no one on the planet (probably) has enough time to read all the self-help books out there, I decided to share about what I’m reading to help others decide if it’s something they may be interested in. Enjoy a brief review of the book (my opinion only) and some vague take-aways.

I recently finished Unf*ck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers, by Faith G. Harper. This book was recommended to me by a client who found it incredibly helpful, so I decided to give it a try. My one-sentence review would be: incredibly helpful if you can get past all the curse words.

Seriously… a lot of cursing in this one. Some readers may love it, some may hate it, some may tolerate it. I’m in the tolerate group. It was just a lot of expletives and it got to the point where I sort of rolled my eyes when the author would drop another f-bomb.

BUT cursing aside, this book was great. The author comes across as very genuine (I listened to the audiobook, which helped me come to this conclusion), has a great sense of humor, and definitely worded things in ways that would make sense to readers with no knowledge of the brain and/or psychology. She went in deep to explain what is going on in our brains that causes anxiety and depression. She explains how trauma affects our thought/behavior patterns, and that it all is how our brain is trying to cope. I believe many will find this helpful, as sometimes, especially with anxiety, it helps to just know why we feel/think the way we do.

One of the biggest takeaways for me was that “emotions are supposed to last 90 seconds, but we continue to fuel them with our thoughts”… and “with our behaviors.” Wow. Reading that was like a light-bulb moment for me. How often do we let our thoughts make our moods last for hours… days… even weeks or months?

Another big takeaway was that “rumination is a way of insisting on processing over and over in a nonsensical way. Avoiding is just refusing to acknowledge it at all.” And that both of these are our efforts to take control over our experiences, instead of accepting it, processing it, and moving on. She says, “If I can fixate on it, I can control it from happening again. If I avoid it, I can erase it from existence in the past, present, and future.” I see these patterns so frequently in my clients (and sometimes myself!), and this explanation is a game-changer for me.

The author also discusses some helpful coping techniques… including talking to someone about it. And reminding yourself that you’re in control NOW, even if you weren’t in the past. There were other practical ideas for dealing with emotions included as well.

If you’re dealing with anxiety and/or depression, and you can at least tolerate all the cursing, I highly recommend this book. I’d have something to write with and write on handy, as you are probably going to want to take notes – I took notes in the Notes app on my phone. If you’re currently in therapy, you could also see if your therapist is willing to discuss the concepts in this book – as I therapist, I always am willing if a client wants to discuss something they’ve read.

Lastly, I want to remind readers about access to books at their local libraries. I put this book on hold via my library’s website, and picked it two days later. Many libraries also have a website or mobile app where library patrons are able to borrow ebooks or audiobooks. I was unable to find an audiobook version of this book, but it’s possible my library just doesn’t own rights to one.

Happy reading!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed independent mental health practitioner and certified professional counselor, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.

I really just want to start this post about health insurance off by saying that insurance is sooooo complicated. So, just know that it’s confusing. Majorly confusing. One of the most confusing things about insurance is that each plan, even from the same insurance company, can be very different. So if I have two clients with BCBS insurance, their “patient responsibility” (what they owe) may not be the same. Here is some general information about types of plans.

If you have a community health plan (Medicaid/Medicare), services are typically covered 100% for you. Medicaid/Medicare is more likely to require pre-authorization, though it varies between companies. They are also more likely to limit the number of therapy sessions they will cover in a calendar year or 12-month period.

For private insurance plans (plans purchased through Marketplace or through your/your spouse’s employer), there are 3 types of plans I’ve seen:

• HIGH DEDUCTIBLE PLAN: This type of plan means that you, the patient, owe 100% of service costs before you hit your deductible. If your individual deductible is $2,500, your insurance plan will not pay out until you meet that deductible. You will be sent a bill for any charges. Once you met your deductible, your insurance may cover 100% of charges, or they may cover a certain percentage and leave you with the rest. I personally had a high deductible plan where I still owed 20% after meeting my deductible. However, you may see that your bill drops due to the difference in what your provider charges and the insurance plans “contractual rate.” I may charge a $115 fee per session, but if my contracted rate with an insurance company is $95, the insurance company will drop your bill down to $95.
• COPAY PLAN: This means that you will owe a set amount per visit, and your insurance company will pay the rest. Most of the clients I’ve seen with copay plans owe $20-$30 per session, but it can be a lower or higher amount. Check your copay amount for mental health – some insurance companies may consider therapists/counselors “specialists,” and some insurance companies charge a higher copay for “specialist visits.”
• COINSURANCE PLAN: I don’t come across these plans as much, but coinsurance plans exist, and with these types of plans, the patient will owe a certain percentage of all medical charges. The percentage varies between plans.

When I have a new client starting, I always recommend that they call their insurance company, if they haven’t already, to verify some information, including:

• That I, the provider, am in-network for their plan.
• That behavioral/mental health (outpatient) is covered under their plan.
• IF behavioral/mental health is covered, is there a limit on sessions per year.
• If telehealth is covered for outpatient mental health.
• What their patient responsibility may be (see note below).
• If authorization is required.

Your insurance company will give out information regarding your plan – if it’s a deductible, copay, or coinsurance plan. If it’s a deductible plan they will also tell you how much of your deductible has been met, and how much is left.

Your insurance company may or may not tell you what to expect, as far as cost. My cost per session varies significantly between insurance. Some pay out around $70 per session, some are a little over $100. I do not decide this cost – each insurance company decides what their contractual amount is. Also, your first session will be a slightly higher rate, as insurances pay out more for the initial assessment.

For Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), charges are typically covered 100%, BUT authorization is needed, and they only allow a certain number of sessions and those sessions must be completed in a specific amount of time (usually 6 months). Once you have completed the number of sessions authorized, you can call and ask for more (in my experience it’s hard to get additional sessions approved). You can also switch over and start using your regular insurance plan.

I hope that answers some questions and clears some things up. I’m happy to answer questions for my clients, and sometimes I end up calling insurance companies as well. While I try to be helpful, ultimately it is the client’s responsibility to verify insurance coverage.

When will you pay? Company policies vary, but for the company I contract with, copays and cash rates are due at the time of session. For coinsurance or deductible plans, we will not send you a bill until we receive an Explanation of Benefits (EOB) from your insurance (you should receive one from them as well). The EOB lets us know what charges your insurance allows, how much they cover, and how much the patient owes. At that time, we’ll send you a bill.

How do you reach out to your insurance company? There should be a “member services” number on the back of your insurance card, or one listed on your website. Some insurance plans have a website you can register an account with, then log in to view your coverage.

If you think of other questions you think should be included in this post, ask away in the comments!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed independent mental health practitioner and certified professional counselor, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a the

Welcome to the What I’ve Been Reading series. Note about me: I love to read. Both fiction and non-fiction. Since no one on the planet (probably) has enough time to read all the self-help books out there, I decided to share about what I’m reading to help others decide if it’s something they may be interested in. Enjoy a brief review of the book (my opinion only) and some vague take-aways.

I recently finished Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, by Martin E.P. Seligman. This book is a little older (in the psychology world at least), being published in 1990, though there was a new edition published in 2006.

This book focused on thinking types and how your thoughts affect your mood, stress levels, mental health. As a therapist who generally uses Cognitive Behavior Therapy, I appreciated the link between how we think and how we feel. The book made sense, with lots of research to back the concepts the author expressed. I will say that there were several sections of the book that covered concepts I was already familiar with, but I still found this book helpful. Included is a quiz at the beginning to get an idea of where you fall on the optimism/pessimism spectrum.

There are some excellent tools for thinking more realistically/positively – I made note of these and will likely use them in my own life or with therapy clients. The most useful tool I found was a simple 4-step process for confronting your thoughts and developing alternative ones. Seligman even makes it easy to remember these tools with acronyms and same letter patterns.

If you’re interested in learning about how your patterns of thinking affect your mental health, I highly recommend this book. I’d have something to write with and write on handy, as you are probably going to want to take notes. If you’re currently in therapy, you could also see if your therapist is willing to discuss the concepts in this book – as I therapist, I am always willing if a client wants to discuss something they’ve read.

Lastly, I want to remind readers about access to books at their local libraries. I put this book on hold via my library’s website, and picked it two days later. Many libraries also have a website or mobile app where library patrons are able to borrow ebooks or audiobooks. I was unable to find an audiobook version of this book, but it’s possible my library just doesn’t own rights to one.

Happy reading!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed independent mental health practitioner and certified professional counselor, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.

Hello! Welcome to the Krista H Counseling blog.

On this site you will find content aimed at helping you handle stress and mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression, that you might (because we ALL do) be experiencing on a regular or semi-regular basis. You’ll find coping skills, articles, and resources. You’ll find affirmations and questions to challenge negative thoughts. You’ll find ideas, tips, and tricks for handling stressors and all the emotions and thoughts we get to experience as humans.

I also hope you’ll find empathy and validation. My wish is for you to find HOPE. This is a safe space, and I hope you’re able to find tools that will help you feel better, think better, and be better prepared to handle whatever life has thrown your way.

As of August 2023, I’ve merged with Crayons and Compliance. I started Crayons and Compliance in 2017, when I was working with kids in therapy and passionate about providing resources to parents and therapists. I learned a lot while creating that blog, but wanted to switch things up for two reasons.

One reason is that I learned is that the word “compliance” is one that a lot of people have strong negative feelings about. In the behavior therapy word, compliance is a commonly used word and pretty neutral. But to a lot of people, “compliance” evokes images of tiny robot children who can’t think for themselves. I get it. So I’ve had some regret about the name of the blog.

The second reason is that my therapy work has shifted from children to adults. This happened about 3 years ago. I still work with some minors, but typically my youngest client is in middle school. About a year ago, I decided I wanted to set up a website that was more related to my counseling practice, but I was in this weird place with being torn between two blogs.

Because of these reasons, I decided to merge these two blogs. For now, Crayons and Compliance will redirect to Krista H Counseling. This may change, or may stay this way forever. We’ll see what happens. I’m pretty happy with this solution, and a big THANK YOU to my husband for helping me figure out how to make this happen.