7 Tips For Success With Remote Learning

Remote learning. As my 3 year old would say… HOLY GUACAMOLE. I have so much respect for parents who are having to navigate remote learning with their child(ren). Especially those who are doing so while working a first time job!

Remote learning is coming up a lot during my therapy sessions with parents of school-aged kiddos. It’s a struggle for every family I’m working with. Every. Single. Family. The issues? Kids refusing to log in and participate. Kids having a difficult time staying engaged. Technology issues. Kids doing inappropriate things on devices (even school devices!) during school time. Kids lying about having “break time.” Kids interrupting parents who are trying to work-from-home in the same room. ALL kinds of concerns. So if you think you’re alone in dealing with these behaviors, you definitely are not!

And let’s all just take a second and think about how hard this is on our kids. Yikes. Eight year olds are not meant to spend 7 hours a day in front a screen doing “school.” Not only is sitting in front a screen all day bad, but add in that many kids aren’t seeing friends, extended family members, aren’t engaging in clubs and other extracurricular activities, and aren’t going out for “fun” (movie, bowling, skating, etc). Their whole worlds have been turned upside down. So remember to have realistic expectations and lots (LOTS!) of grace. For yourself and the tiny humans you’re responsible for.

To help with succeeding at remote learning, here are SEVEN things you can try:

  1. Set expectations and clearly communicate these expectations to your child(ren). My expectation would be that they treat their remote school learning as they would a regular school day. No getting out of your chair unless given permission, no distracting items on your desk, and no snacks except during break. Definitely no electronics (other than what is needed to complete school sessions/work).
  2. Set up a school space. This doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but have a set school space. It’s probably not a good idea to let your child do school work on their bed or on the living room floor with the television on. Have them sit at a desk or a table if possible. Try to remove as many distractions as you can. Have their supplies ready and accessible from their seat. You may not be able to anticipate every need, but do the best you can to have everything ready for their school day.
  3. Monitor your child(ren)! There are so many more distractions/temptations at home and anyone who has children knows that attention spans are a struggle. Be in the room to prompt them back to their work when needed. (Note: I’m well aware that this step may be near impossible for some parents, depending on their work situation – do what you can, cut yourself some slack when it’s not a choice for you. You are a super-parent, but there are some things you can’t control).
  4. Offer praise and small rewards throughout the day. For kiddos who are really struggling to stay engaged, offer a small reward periodically throughout the day. Maybe after each class session, depending on how their school is structured. Or once per hour (or half hour, if the struggle is really, really real).
  5. Offer a reward at the end of the day. This can either be done on its own or in addition to a small reward throughout the day. If your child stays engaged and gets all their work done, let them pick out a preferred snack at the end of the day. Or allow an extra 15 minutes of electronics time. Pick something that is motivating for them, but make sure they earn it!
  6. Use break time wisely. Most parents I’ve talked to who have kiddos doing remote learning have told me that their kiddos get break times throughout the day. Instead of letting them use that time to zone out on YouTube or lay down, get them up and moving around! This will help get energy out and help them be able to focus better when it’s time to get back to their school screen. Create a list of physical activity for them to do – jumping jacks, squats, lunges, starfish jumps, etc. Have them do a KidzBop dance video. Have them walk up and down the stairs a few times. Have them go outside and run around the house (if this is safe and the weather cooperates).
  7. Consider fidget toys and/or fidget seat. I’ve heard from all of my families with ADHD kiddos that focus is more difficult when remote learning than in class. One thing that may help your child is to have a toy (or several) to fidget with, or a seat that they can move around in. You can find several variations of the fidget seats… wiggle seat, wobble chair, etc. OR try a big medicine ball. OR, I saw a neat idea the other day where a parent turned their kiddo’s bike into a stationary bike for them to ride while they do their school work. Note: some kiddos may be extra distracted with these options, so it may take some trial and error.

Good luck! You can do it! Have any suggestions of your own or things that have worked well with your kids? Drop a comment and share!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed mental health therapist, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.

Super Simple Sticker Charts (They Don’t Have to Be Complicated!)

I’m all for fancy behavior charts and sticker charts, but they’re not absolutely necessary.  Your child might be content with a simple table and some fun stickers.  If you don’t want to mess with finding the perfect one or tweaking one that someone else made, it can be fairly easy to make your own.  I have two examples to share below.

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This first one would be an example of a sticker chart to work on bedtime routine – you have your days of the week running along the top and the tasks of the routine along the side.  The kiddo would get to put a sticker for each task on each day, so potentially a total of 4 stickers per day.

 

 

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This second one could be for any behavior and splits the day up into two different time frames.  So, for example, if you’re working on Following Directions, your kiddo would get to put a sticker in the “Before Lunch” on Monday square if they follow directions between waking up and lunchtime.

These are simple to make in Microsoft Word or Excel or by hand (I’d want a ruler because I’m a bit of a perfectionist).  They look boring to start, but most kids LOVE putting stickers on, so it won’t be long before that chart will be filled up with shiny (possibly glittery) stickers.

Six Tips for Increasing Your Child’s Compliance with Homework

Maybe you’re lucky and have a kiddo who sits down every day after school, with a smile on their face and does their homework. Maybe. But if you’re not so lucky and you have a kiddo who whines or complains about homework, or takes forever to do it, or refuses to do it completely, I have a few tips that might help. As always, these are general tips and may not be appropriate for you or your kiddo, depending on your individual situation. If homework completion truly is an issue, consider seeing a behavior therapist for a few sessions!

  • Be consistent.  If you want to have your child do homework as soon as they get home, go for it.  Or give them 30 minutes to relax, then have them do homework until it’s done.  Whatever you do, be as consistent with it as you can.
  • Have certain activities that have to be “earned” by doing homework.  One option would be to set the expectation that there will be no television time until homework is completed.  Pick something your child enjoys so that it motivates them.
  • Practice using calming strategies both before beginning homework and during, if they become upset or frustrated.
  • If you think your child struggles with confidence, practice positive self-statements, like “I got this” or “I can do it.”
  • FOLLOW THROUGH.  Make sure that homework gets done… if your child doesn’t complete the homework before school the next day, have them do it the next evening after their new homework.  This might seem harsh and, yes, it might keep accumulating.  But if you let your kiddo get out of doing homework just one night, they’ll know that they can get out of it in the future.
  • Praise your kiddo for completing their homework, especially if they do so without arguing or whining!

Using Rewards and Consequences at Home to Reinforce School Behavior

It’s very, very common for me to hear from parents that their child is struggling with behavior at school, but is a great kid at home.  I’ve had a lot of frustrated parents in my office because they just don’t know what to do.  Unfortunately, there can be a lot of barriers in the school system, including teachers with too many kids in their classroom.  I’ve also heard some kids name “punishments” at school that are actually positively reinforcing their negative behavior… this isn’t necessarily because the school is clueless; sometimes what is “punishing” for one kiddo can be reinforcing for another.

So what can you, as a parent, do?  One thing you can do is use a reward or consequence at home for your child’s behavior at school.  This would require you to work with your kiddo’s teacher to somehow (phone call, email, note sent home, etc) get a message EACH DAY from the teacher about how the child’s day went.  TIP… you’re going to want to pick one or two “problem behaviors” to get feedback on – this could be aggression, compliance with schoolwork, or anything else your kiddo might be struggling with – make sure your child’s teacher knows what specifically to report on.  I’ve had a mom send a “smiley chart” to school, with the teacher’s approval, to be completed each day.  I’ve also had moms who just get a short email update from the teacher.

From there, you get to decide whether you want your child to earn something extra if they behaved well, or if they lose a privilege or earn some other kind of consequence if they displayed any negative behaviors.  A few examples:

  • Reward: Child can earn an extra 30 minutes of electronics time if the teacher says they did well that day.
  • Reward: Child can earn a special after-school snack if the teacher says they did well that day.
  • Reward: Child can stay up 10 minutes late if the teacher says they did well that day.
  • Consequence: Child has to complete an extra chore if the teacher reports negative behavior.
  • Consequence: Child loses television time if the teacher reports negative behavior.
  • Consequence: Child has to complete an extra math/reading/writing worksheet if the teacher reports negative behavior.

Pick something that you know will motivate your child, give them a heads up about the change, then be as consistent with it as possible!  Eventually, once your child is successful, you will want to fade the consequence or reward.  So you might start offering a reward every other day instead (for good behavior on both days), then eventually just once per week (for good behavior 5 out of 5 days per week).

*Note: I’m not recommending that all parents use a reward/consequence system for school behavior… this is more for the kiddos who are struggling with something specific at school*