Welcome to the What I’ve Been Reading series. Note about me: I love to read. Both fiction and non-fiction. Since no one on the planet (probably) has enough time to read all the self-help books out there, I decided to share about what I’m reading to help others decide if it’s something they may be interested in. Enjoy a brief review of the book (my opinion only) and some vague take-aways.

Today I finished reading The Highly Sensitive Parent, by Elaine N. Aron. If you aren’t family with what “Highly Sensitive” refers to, you can click here to go to Aron’s website and find out more (and take a quiz to see if you are a “highly sensitive person”).

I identify as a “highly sensitive person” (HSP), and parenting is a struggle sometimes because of all the external stimuli. I was so excited to read this book and thought, “I’m probably going to wish I had read this 5 years ago!” I really wanted to love this book and find it incredibly helpful. And I did find it a little helpful, but it was a bit disappointing.

First, the good things about this book: it was so validating. It was also so great to hear that there are other parents out there who struggle with HSP problems. I also found the author to write in a way that was compassionate towards readers and send the message that it’s okay to be highly sensitive and that you can be a great parent. There is a helpful chapter titled “Coping with Overstimulation,” which included a list of coping skills to help sensitive parents deal with the circus that parenting can be.

If you feel like your HSP traits are affecting your relationship with your partner/coparent, the author has two whole chapters dedicated to discussing ways in which to get you and your partner’s needs me, communicate, and build a healthy relationship. She even recommended a John Gottman strategy (huge fan here!).

Now the “not so good” things about this book: I really was expecting more coping skills from this book. There was one chapter, and it included some good ideas, but nothing super enlightening, and nothing that I haven’t heard of before, or recommended to clients during therapy sessions. The book offered a lot of good information about a lot of topics, but I really wish the author had spent more time focusing on how to cope with being a highly sensitive parent/person.

One other thing that frustrated me about this book was the chapter called “Getting Help.” The author suggests recruiting friends and family to help with parenting (which, to me, seems like a no-brainer). Then she takes it a step further and suggests hiring help – a main, a nanny, or anyone else to do things so that parents can get rest. In theory, I don’t see anything wrong with this suggestion. If you can afford to hire help, then absolutely get it. But what about those who can’t? Aron’s suggestion for those were to basically figure out a way to afford it. Figure out a way to prioritize hiring help. This really rubbed me the wrong way. Sure, I could probably cancel some subscription and cut back on things and afford to hire a maid. But I know a lot of people, and many of my clients, who just could not make it work. To pretend like anyone can afford help if they only prioritize it might be like a slap in the face to many who simply… can’t.

Overall, I found this book to be slightly helpful, but I’ll be honest… I skimmed over many pages that just weren’t relevant to me. Again, I was hoping for more tips on coping as a Highly Sensitive Parent. And even though I wasn’t a huge fan of this book, I am a big fan of Aron’s work in general.

Lastly, I want to remind readers about access to books at their local libraries. I put this book on hold via my library’s website, and picked it two days later. Many libraries also have a website or mobile app where library patrons are able to borrow ebooks or audiobooks. I was unable to find an audiobook version of this book, but it’s possible my library just doesn’t own rights to one.

Happy reading!