The next social skill in this Social Skills Series is Sharing. If you need a reminder on what social skills are and why they’re important, read Social Skills Series: Introduction.

Sharing is not fun for kids. Just about every kid I’ve known or worked with struggles to share. Adults struggle to share too. Why? When we like something, we want it for ourselves and we don’t want to have to wait and watch while someone else uses it. My daughter loves to play dolls with others, but she almost never lets someone else play with her favorites. Another example, if I’m being transparent, is that I do not like to share my chocolate (that I bought just for me) with others. I still share, but it is hard!

Should we be forcing children to share? That’s difficult and there are many who would say “yes,” and many who would say “no.” I’m of the opinion that we should encourage sharing, but not force it. If you disagree with me, that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and, honestly, I can see benefits of both sides. Whether or not you think sharing should be forced, it’s important to talk about sharing, provide rationales, and practice.

What are rationales for sharing? One of the most motivating rationales is that if you share with others, they are more likely to share with you. Another rationale is that others are more likely to want to be your friend if you share with them. A third rationale is that it usually helps others feel happy when we share.

A great way to introduce social skills to kiddos is with a book. I love the Berenstain Bears series (have since I was a child!) and The Berenstain Bears Learn to Share is a great way to introduce sharing. Click here for more information (I make no money off sharing this with you). I’ve seen this being read aloud on YouTube as well, so you can search for it there and let your kids watch/listen.

You can practice sharing with just about any fun game, toy, or object. You can practice sharing a single set of crayons/markers, and ask if your kiddo will share specific colors with you. While playing with dolls, you can ask your child to share their preferred doll, by letting you play with it for a few minutes. You can also share snacks, by giving your child a snack, then asking them to share half. Practice sharing play dough, practice sharing a fork at lunch time, practice sharing a ball while playing outside, practice sharing legos, practice sharing a tablet, practice sharing a paintbrush, practice sharing a kite… there are lots of options!

Some TIPS for practicing this social skill:

• Practice when your child is calm/in a good mood. Practice will probably not go well if your child is grumpy or just got in trouble for something.
• Make sure to praise you child!
• Try to make it fun!
• If your child becomes uncooperative at any point, just end the practice and revisit it later.

Good luck! Drop a comment with any other fun ideas for practicing this important social skill!

Disclaimer: I am a licensed mental health therapist, but I am not your therapist. The information in this article is for general informational purposes only. This article does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances, please consult with a mental health practitioner near you.